Today I did some organizing. I have tough exam on 6th of September, just collected all the material for it, and there's a whole bunch. I've made a list of my unfinished projects, which I do besides work, there's seven of them. I have one tough project at work to finish, which is caousing me lots of problems and nerves. I have to finish diploma by end of this year, and I have vacation soon, of which I'm not even looking forward of.
My relationship with a girl I still love, is coming to an end, I feel unaesy and nervous most of the time. Tomorrow I signed up for a cycling marathon, 70 kilometers long, whichg I'm not sure I can manage.
The weather sux.


Material for my next exam..

Grapes

Grapes are getting rape. These are just brought from our wineyard, not completely ripe yet..
It was a bad year for wine. First it wasn't warm enough, and there was too much humidity. Humidity results in many diesases. Then there are birds who are eating grapes just as they're getting ripe. And deers, they also made a big damage..

Making wine is a hard business.

Jabolčni štrudl (Apfelschtrudel)

"Štrudl" made by my mother. It's desert very traditional for Slovenia, it's also Austrian traditional food. It's made od dough with apple filling. Tasty stuff.

"Miss You Like Crazy"

I miss you like the sky misses the birds I miss you like a song without the words And everyday away from you it hurts 'Cause I'm missing you like crazy I miss you like the sun misses the day I need you like the desert needs the rain And baby it's driving me insane 'Cause I'm missing you like crazy I'm missing you like crazy

Picnic

We had a family picnic, it was my grandfather's birtday. 86th.

My grandfather used to be very tough guy, not showing any emotions and like that.. It was very touchy to see, when his eyes got wet, when we sang him "happy birthday". It must be nice, when so much people come together, and they all come from you. Your sons, doughters, their families, grandsons, grand-grand sons ... They all exist because of him. Me afteral.

I tried to look happy, though I feel like I'm collapsing inside.
I don't understand people, or myself. I never believed such problems could accur to me, I thouht my love life is so pure, special, it can't be shaken or ruined.
Now it is happening to me too. My world is falling apart.

I call her very often, only too see if her tone would change, if she'd show me that tenderness, which only she can. I can sense it right away, even if it's not on purpose. Then a huge stone, what stone - a mountain would fall of my heart.