Time and love

First you miss, then you desperately miss, then you feel lonely, lonelier, a big void grows inside you, then kind of anger comes, you want something, you invent something you can't get and get angry for not getting it, you start to hate, you tell yourself you don't need anybody, you act indiferent, you play cold, you suffer, you pretend to be strong, that you don't care, it works...
Sometimes you want revenge, then you want to be good and decent. You wait for weakness and when it comes you take advantage of it. You know it's bad, you feel guilty but you have to stick to your point.
All because you want attention.
You feel betrayed and all nice words mean nothing because they seem empty and they come when it's too late.
You envy the ones who are self centered, self sufficient and happy.
You feel powerless, but don't give up. Never give up. Life goes one "with or without you"..
I despise Anna Karenina.
She goes to vacation without you and you feel the same as if she was cheating on you.